1. Mr. Men Collages: This was only the start. I hate seeing my news feed cluttered with tons of these pictures with a million tags. I don’t care if I am Mr. Friendly because it won’t make a difference to me. And it doesn’t stop there because now they have all those fucking quizzes where you can “Find out what YOUR sex drive is?” or “What 2009 song describes you?” or “What character from Pokemon would you be?” I use my newsfeed to creep on people without them knowing, not to find out "What birthday are you?" No one gives 2 shits that you “Would make a great Pikachu!!!!!!” Stop publishing them.
2. Foreign Teachers: I’m sure they are smart, and have earned their P.H.D in their country, good for them. But if I’m paying $40,000 to go to my school, I’d appreciate if I could understand a single freaking word coming out of their mouths. I don’t care if they have a Pulitzer if no one in the class can understand what they are saying then no one will get anything out of the class. The only reason they are here is to pretend to teach while using the University’s resources to help them write their book that no one's ever going to read. Welcome to America. Teacha mea inna englishaaaaaa…… Please?
3. Pointless Notes: This means notes about lists. Please don’t go through a list of 100 movies and check off each one you’ve seen or would “really really badly want to see.” Or take the last 20 people who wrote on your wall and tell me you would “ewwww never date #4” aka. Irrelevant shit no one cares about.
4. People who love money: Don’t get me wrong everyone loves money. It’s one of our greatest developed faults as human beings. One that cannot be prevented. But it’s the people that are so consumed by it that it clouds their view of all else that really gets me. I by no means grew up with a rich lifestyle. But my parents instilled in me the virtue to be giving, even if it means occasionally you have to take the loss. So especially when people I know, who have grown up with the kind of luxurious lifestyles most of us can’t afford, are so money hungry that they see nothing else it annoys me. If they are friends then you should be able to be more lenient. I wish more people didn’t consider money to be more valuable than the very air they breathe, but sadly most do.
5. Talking on the phone: There’s a reason I text you. If I need to borrow a book a phone conversation turns into a: Hey…Hey…Whats up??....Nothing, you?....Nothing??? …How You been??....Good….You…Same old….The kids???....Still trying to unload them……oh cool…. So do you still have that Acc book??…. Yeah….Can I borrow it???...I guess….Ok ill pick it up tomorrow….. Ok…I’ll call you…Oh fuck… ------ Where as when you text it’s: Hey I need that Acc book if you have it, I’ll be there tomorrow to pick it up……Word, Homie. MORAL OF THE STORY: Don’t call me. I don’t want to shave valuable seconds off my life talking about your life.
6. The Cubs: I am a die hard Cubs fan. No further explanation needed.
7. People complaining about Change: No, not the non-existent Barrack Obama Change, but one little change to peoples everyday routine and ALL Shit hits the fan. An perfect example is the New Facebook. They change the homepage and people are running around like they found out they have Swine flu, and are tripping on acid. OO kkkkk calm down. In about 3 weeks you're not even going to remember the old one existed. So it’s new. Get used to it and stop bitching to me about how you “can’t figure it out”.
8. Girls with Scarf’s: It’s Summer. Why must you insist on wrapping a scarf around your neck when you’re indoors, outdoors, in class, eating, doing laundry, and anything and everything? I know turtlenecks died a long time ago but you obviously don’t have a hickey on your neck 6.5/7 days of the week. It’s like wearing uggs in 100 degree weather. Fashion Faux Pas (I just wanted to be able to use that word once)9. Chapstick: It makes your lips feel weird and definitely does not taste like “Mixed Berries” like advertised. I’d like to officially rename them Shit-Stix.
10. When I Can’t figure things out: If someone asks me a general knowledge question that’s in the back of my head but won’t come to mind, it will BUG the hell out of me. Either I will wiki it or grow more and more annoyed until I figure it out. I remember one time I was dreaming about a game of monopoly and all I could think of was…. Pennsylvania Railroad, Reading Railroad, B and O Railroad, and…..oh shit. I stayed awake for 2 hours that night just thinking. I finally convinced myself that it was perfectly normal to dig through my attic at 4 in the morning to search for my monopoly…… At least I slept well the rest of the night knowing all about the Short Line Railroad.
11. Can’t Figure out what they're Thinking: So this is when you think I’m absolutely crazy. Theirs a fine line between being intuitive and this. Sometimes I know EXACTLY what you’re thinking. I can’t do it on command but sometimes I have the strange ability to know your thoughts even if I don’t tell you I know. It sounds insane, and it’s almost impossible to prove cause either I’ll be wrong, or you’ll deny what it was if I was right. So when some people are especially tough to tell, it PISSES me off. I like knowing as much as I can and if you wear your heart on your sleeve then you’re especially easy. It’s the protective ones that are hard to break.
12. Facebook Groups for Everything: Stop with these groups. I doubt the Guinness World Records gives a tiny rat’s ass about the “Biggest Group on Facebook EVER!!!!!” I have been sucked into so many pointless ones that just when I leave one, I seem to join another. Group invitations are one of the more annoying notifications on the book. Send one to me and I will cyber punch you in the balls.
13. Prefer Professional sports over College sports: Sometimes when I ask people about that “college basketball game yesterday” they respond with… I only watch professional sports. Firstly, where do you think these professional athletes come from? They developed all their skills in college and watching them grow as players is exciting. Plus the games have sooooo much more rivalry in them. Secondly, the players aren’t getting paid obscene amounts of money. They’re actually playing for their teams. College sports are amazing. Next question?
14. When people cannot Pronounce Names: I know my name is not the easiest to pronounce. But it’s really only 2 syllables. Shree + Raj. I mean if you can say them separately with ease how could you be so fucking stupid that you cannot put them together. If you tell me that people in America speak English then they should be able to put at least 5 letters together in a coherent order. If I can say ‘JUSTIN’ with no problem then you should be able to say my name. But if you want to admit you suck at English, your own language, go ahead and call me Raj. I won’t mind.
15. People in Elevators: In the DePaul center there are sixteen floors. So if you’re the first one inside going to
the 16th floor and know it will fill up so why must you stand at the front. Then at every single floor get out of the elevator to let other people pass. You are wasting both mine and your time. Also if the weight limit is already at 2000lb’s and you see 15 people already cramped into the 5 x 5 metal box dangling on a string, please don’t get in. I don’t want to die from either the elevator falling or your B.O. Thanks.16. Illinois Politics: In my philosophy class last year an international student who was Chinese was asked what people thought about Chicago in China. She said people attributed them to racism and corruptness. Everyone was surprised but she said that was the general view. Personally I think race is far less of an issue here than in other states around the U.S. Maybe I’m oblivious to it or the fact that I go to DePaul forces me to assume everyone else is just as diverse. I don’t know. As for the politics, we have to be the corruption capital of the United States. Three of the state’s seven previous governors have been convicted and served time. And now our president is from this very state. So proud.
17. Japanese People & Cars: So let me get straight. You Jap’s spend hours on end developing Honda, Hyundai, Toyota, and Nissan, so you can run the entire automobile industry that will soon be U.S free. Yet none of you fuckers know how to drive properly. FanTasTic!!
18. Blue Boner Plaid Shorts: I have these blue plaid shorts that I’m semi-gay for seen as I wear them so often. I even encourage other people to buy plaid shorts so we can all match, lame I know. But the thing is these shorts instead of having a button or even a zipper, have a ‘neat’ little piece of Velcro. It wouldn’t be so bad, if the Velcro didn’t have the tendency to bend outward and make me look like I have a raging hard-on!!! I can tell sometimes on the train when people are staring right at me due to my inadvertent bulge. Not cool. They're my favorite shorts too.
19. Stupid People: Probably one of my biggest pet peeves. I think if you’re smart enough to be in college you should be smart enough to do a job properly. Whether it’s a group project or a real job there should be no reason for you, not to be able to do it. Especially when you’re getting paid to fail at your job where I could do the same thing for half the money with my eyes closed. This isn’t about book smarts, as everyone is blessed differently and all the studying in the world won’t change that. But there is no excuse for lack of common sense.
20. Barrack Obama As the Messiah: Everyone who knows me, knows I’m not a fan of this man. We could debate about it for hours so I’m not gonna start right now. What Really PISSES me off though is the image below. It’s pretty disgusting the affection this nation shows to a man who has so far done as much for this country as Herbert Hoover, i.e. nothing. If people support him that’s your prerogative and I won’t try and change your mind. But things like THIS. Wow.
